In space, there is no sound.  No one can you hear you scream.  No one can hear you rock.  

I belong to a new religion that believes the universe was formed when Tenacious D were somehow transported into empty space trillions of years ago.  There was nothing to see and nothing to do and no one to hear them, so they did what they do...they fucking rocked.  And yea, verily, their rock did unleash into the void of space a power so great that it made the Big Bang shit its pants.  And the Universe formed, with the power of infinite suns.  The power of the D.

There have been people (heretics) who suggest that Tenacious D is "a joke."  If rocking you so hard that it makes your soul cum, then HA-HA.  Good one.  It's hilarious.  

Do a lineup of the greatest singers who ever lived.  Slot number one belongs to Sir Jack Black, a voice with the power, passion, and encyclopedic knowledge of music that sets him above all others.  

Slots two and three would be echoes of Jack Black's voice.  

And, if we're going to talk about music, let's not forget Sir Kyle Gass.  There needs to be a new word for the type of virtuosity that he exhibits on stage.  It can't be real.  But it is.  In a two-and-a-half hour long concert, here's how many notes Kyle missed: ZERO.  

Let's talk about the other guys on stage.  It's easy to forget they're there.  If you look into the sky during the day and stare directly at the sun for a couple of hours, you might not notice that there are other stars in the sky.

The bass player...kicks ass.  The electric guitar player...well, he may be one of the shreddiest shredders to ever shred.  Seriously.  Where did they find him?  He's amazing.  There was a drummer too.  He was fine.  There weren't a ton of amazing licks for the drums, so he was the easiest one to miss.  UNTIL he was introduced by Jack Black at the end of the concert, then proceeded to lay down the beat like the LA Police on Rodney King.  It was brutal.  It was merciless.  You think "well, he can keep time" up until that point, and then you understand why he's on stage with "the D".

Another surprise appearance played one song on the electrical geetar, and is  worthy of mention too, but no spoilers here.

You want to know what wasn't perfect?  The tech.  There were some sound problems, and it took a long time to set up for the D after the warm-up band.  They had too many issues with feedback, and Jack's voice was way too low in the mix.  I've seen better tech at a high school battle of the bands.

But hey, the sound guys were probably too busy standing in awe at the brilliance of Tenacious D to check the levels.  When Jesus was walking on wine and turning lepers into loaves of fish, the guys doing the audio at that show probably screwed up too.  It happens.  MOVE ON.  It's the fuckin' D.  It's a miracle.  Stories will be told about this concert.

They probably won't ask for your first-born child as payment to attend this concert.  They should ask for TWO.  Then they could raise them and create an army of rockers to create a new universe of music perfection.  

The set looked a little like a giant cock, probably just a weird oversight.  

If you have that brain-swelling thing that killed Bruce Lee (ALLEGEDLY...we know it was a Kung-Fu curse) then you might need to wear a gas mask.  There may have been one or two people smoking weed.  

All in all, they should rename themselves Elevenacious D.  A 10-point scale doesn't cover it.  I've been hard for 48 hours.  Too much information?  Tenacious D will change your life.  If you have to murder 1,000 people to get on Death Row in order to make seeing Tencaious D in concert your last request, DO IT.  Totally worth it.  FUCK!